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by grandmelon



Series: A Life Worth Living [6]
Category: Free!
Genre: Deep Conversations, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Love, M/M, coming out to friends, really mild Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 01:31:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3631599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grandmelon/pseuds/grandmelon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke and Rin return during the overlap of Rin’s summer break and everyone's winter break. Reunions, days out with friends, and important talks ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Catching Up

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago but I haven't had much time to edit it. I hope I got everything but please feel free to tell me if I left any huge mistakes! I hope everyone enjoys it! I'm very excited to have gotten this far in the series, I'm half way done!
> 
> I've already written the next few, and hopefully I will have them all edited and posted soon! Thank you for reading!

“Rin-chan!” Nagisa yelled, leaping up onto the unsuspecting other. Rin stumbled back and Sousuke caught the two of them, not without effort. “I haven’t seen you in years!”

 

“What are you talking about!? You just visited us over your summer break!” Rin barked, straightening himself up and trying to drop the boisterous blonde. Nagisa ignored his accusations, jumping over to Sousuke. Sousuke put his hands up as a sign that he would not carry the boy, as he had tried to get Sousuke to do on many occasions.

 

“Sou-chan too! I haven’t seen you both in so long,” he cried out in a dramatic fashion. Makoto laughed from the doorway.

 

“Nagisa, won’t you at least let them in? And what about your game?”

 

Nagisa released the taller boy and ran back to Haru’s living room, leaving the other two to finally take off their jackets and shoes. “Gou-chan! Rei-chan they’re here!”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to the door sooner,” Makoto apologized. Rin just smiled it off, hooking an arm around the taller boy’s neck and pulling him down as he walked into the house.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Makoto! Have you gotten taller? I swear this wasn’t this hard before.” Rin laughed as the other sputtered, embarrassed. Makoto hadn’t stopped growing, and was already six feet and three inches. He was embarrassed by the attention it brought him.

 

“Yo,” Sousuke greeted the other members in the living room. Rei and Gou were playing cards with Nagisa, which he had recklessly abandoned to meet them at the door. Rei looked up from his hand and smiled, pushing up his glasses.

 

“Good afternoon Sousuke-san!”

 

“Took you two long enough,” Gou complained, eyes focused on her cards. They had left at separate times because Rin needed to go shopping for Makoto’s birthday present. Between the end of his first year of college and getting everything ready to return during Australia’s summer beak he hadn’t had time to get it.

 

“Sorry, you know Rin. He had to find something sentimental,” Sousuke joked quietly. Makoto and Rin had walked into the kitchen where Haru likely was. He didn’t want to give away the secret. She hummed, turning back to the game. Sousuke settled down on the couch, squishing himself into a corner as he watched Nagisa’s pathetic attempts at cheating.

 

“Sousuke-san, is your hand alright?”

 

Sousuke opened his eyes and looked at Rei who was focused on his wrapped up hand that he had been rubbing his temple with. An ace bandage securely wrapped it up. Gou didn’t bother to pay it any attention, but Nagisa was also looking at the wrapping, curious.

 

“It’s nothing, just a sprain,” he informed them. He tried to hide the hand from their inquisitive eyes.

 

“How’d you do that Sou-chan?” Nagisa asked, voice all concern and innocence.

 

“Slipped,” he supplied. An evil glint flickered in those eyes and Sousuke cursed himself, knowing something about the way he delivered his answer tipped the boy off. Nagisa grinned, putting a hand up in front of his mouth as he let out a fake gasp.

 

“Oh, Sou-chan that’s so dirty,” he scolded him. Rei looked terribly confused and Gou got red in the face from both embarrassment and irritation. She had already known about the injury since the start, and had been trying to forget about it since she helped her distressed brother wrap it up to prevent further damage.      

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sousuke retorted with a lazy tone, trying to keep it casual. Giving Nagisa dangerous thoughts was exactly what he had been wary about when heading over to their little get together.

 

“The hot coco is ready,” Makoto called as he walked in with Rin and Haru, all holding mugs of chocolate to pass out. Gou and Rei took theirs and thanked them. In Rin’s one hand he balanced a mug and three candy canes, all for his hot chocolate. He handed Sousuke his cup and plopped down next to him on the couch. Makoto sat down after handing Rei his, watching as Haru went back for his own cup. Once everyone was settled Nagisa put on a look of innocence and concern.

 

“Rin-chan did you hurt Sou-chan while doing the nasty?”

 

“What on earth are you talking about now,” Rin groaned, not registering Nagisa’s words as anything other than a tease. He glanced over at Sousuke and saw his look of exasperation and the injured hand he had wrapped around the hot mug. Rin turned a bright shade of red and closed his mouth shut. Haru raised a slim eyebrow as he returned with his own drink and settled down next to an equally bright colored Makoto.

 

“You shouldn’t be so rough with your boyfriend,” he deadpanned and Rin was a gaping mess. Makoto covered his face, embarrassed by the conversation. Rei was also in a rigid state, finally catching up with the meaning of their words.

 

“You’re one to talk! And why do you assume it’s my fault anyways!?” Rin cried out, completely bothered by the turn of events.

 

“I’m very gentle with Makoto,” Haru informed him with a small frown. Makoto dropped his hands and stared at the other in shock.

 

“Excuse me,” Rei interrupted with his voice high in pitch, “I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation to be having!”

 

“I agree! This is the first time we’re all together in a while, let’s please talk about something else,” Gou declared placing her hot coco on the coffee table. She glared at Rin and Haru, her small body releasing its unexpectedly intimidating aura.

 

“You’re no fun Gou-chan!” Nagisa whined.

 

“It’s Kou!” She argued. “If you three want to be vulgar please wait until the rest of us leave.”

 

“You three!? What did I ever do?” Rin marveled at his sister, completely shocked that he had gotten thrown in together with Haru and Nagisa. Haru was also unhappy with the accusation. Gou nearly gave him the stink-eye before Sousuke interrupted with a loud, forced cough. Their quiet battle did not stop though, the air becoming tense.

 

“So Sousuke-san, Rin-san, how is it being home after so long?” Rei asked trying change subjects.

 

“Different,” Sousuke offered, seeing that the stare down between the two siblings wasn’t going to end. “It’s strange hearing so much Japanese again.”

 

“That’s right! They all speak English over there,” Makoto commented, focusing on the subject and trying to forget about his previous embarrassment. “It must be difficult. I don’t think I could do that.”

 

“Sousuke does fine,” Rin boasted, finally breaking from the Matsuoka showdown. “He’s improved a lot.”

 

He nudged Sousuke with his elbow, grinning from ear to ear. Sousuke tried to will away the color on his cheeks, he never took compliments well. Nagisa hummed, picking up more marshmallows out of the bowl that had been placed on the coffee table and plopping them into his hot chocolate.

 

“Nagisa-kun please refrain from using all of the marshmallows!”

 

“But there’s not enough Rei-chan,” Nagisa whined.

 

“Nagisa your cup is already full of them,” Makoto agreed. Haru quietly sipped at his hot drink as he glanced over at the mess of a group. He noticed the slouch in Rin’s posture as he leaned towards Sousuke.

 

“It’s okay if you sit closer,” Haru declared. Rin didn’t say anything, keeping his eyes trained on his hot coco, stirring it with his candy canes. Sousuke followed the advice and scooted over so that their arms were touching.

 

“How’s practice anyways, are you taking care of yourself Haru?” Sousuke asked, tuning out the other conversations happening around them. Rei was flailing to keep his own hot coco from Nagisa who was trying to add many unwanted marshmallows into it, Makoto trying to act as a mediator. Rin was unusually quiet, watching everything around him, and Gou was drinking her chocolate in silence. She liked to finish her drink or food before talking so that wasn’t much of a surprise.

 

“It’s going well,” Haru reasoned. “It’s tiring.”

 

“Just make sure you don’t overdo it,” Sousuke advised and Haru’s eyes flickered to Rin. “He tries to sometimes, but he’s been pretty good about pacing himself.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Rin shouted, arms crossing defensively.

 

“It’s good you’re taking care of him,” Haru huffed, the smallest sign of laughter. Sousuke smirked as Rin complained about them talking like he wasn’t there. Makoto broke out into his own smile seeing how happy they seemed.

 

They ate and talked and played for hours. Rin complained about his friends and Gou complained about her brothers. Makoto and Haru had calm happiness overtake them at having so many friends in the same place again, and Rei and Nagisa continued on with their antics. It was tough being split up, but once they got together again it was like nothing at all had changed. Friends are family too, in their own strange way. With luck, even time couldn’t separate them.


	2. Jealousy Isn’t Love, It’s Insecurity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fears come to light, and a really long, and need explanation finally comes to quell them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my favorite to write just because the issue with Sousuke and Haru is such a heavily discussed topic, but somehow rarely is seen in the light I see it in? Either way it was fun to write and especially because Rin really needs to hear what Sousuke has to say, even if he isn't so good with words. I hope I got the meanings of his explanation across well!

"Can I ask you something?"

 

Sousuke cranked his head around to look back at the doorway to the kitchen. There his boyfriend stood, lips pursed and brow drawn down in, telltale signs that he had something momentous he wanted to ask. The other was thinking about something important, or perceived as important, and it was clear he’d need Sousuke’s full attention. He pulled his legs up onto the couch so he could be facing Rin, sure by his stance that he wouldn’t be moving to sit with him.

 

"Of course,” he answered. Rin just gazed down at the ground, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth to roll it between sharp teeth. "Rin, it's okay. Whatever it is you have to say, you don't have to be so worried about it."

 

"You're not going to like it." His eyes darted back up to meet Sousuke’s. His bottom lip was still being abused, but Sousuke was too far away to stop it. He frowned at Rin’s accusation.

 

"That's not for you to decide," he reminded him. Rin was the one who pulled that card out often, especially after Sousuke had hidden the truth of his shoulder for so many months. Sousuke had sat through a long lecture about why it was unfair for Sousuke to take Rin’s choice out of his hands by deciding what he’d think and say before giving him a chance.

 

"I didn't even want to bring it up now. I mean I don't want to start something when it doesn't really matter."

 

Rin shuffled his feet, tilting his head to gaze at the floor with apparent interest. He was overthinking it, and Sousuke knew it. A deep sigh escaped from within his chest and Rin glanced back at him. Sousuke leaned his head against the back of the couch and watched the other with a soundless, meaningful look. He rolled his own bottom lip against his teeth, influenced by the site of Rin ruthlessly biting at his own.

 

"Rin, what is it? Just tell me. It isn't like you to be this hesitant."

 

The nervous boy froze in his spot and brought his arms up to his chest, crossing them to shield himself from Sousuke’s gaze. He had been caught. No matter how difficult the words were, Rin always would bring them up, and straight away. It was what kept their relationship steady and strong; addressing problems right away instead of letting them build up. Slender fingers dug into his sides to calm his fidgeting. He glanced up to the corner of the room and blew out hot air.

 

"It's because I don't want to create needless problems by asking, okay?" Rin chanced a glance back at Sousuke only to find an unimpressed stare in response. Rin nearly snarled at his immaturity, but Rin wasn’t very mature himself.

 

"I just, I want to know what's the deal between you and Haru. Like you two obviously weren't on good terms before, but what about now? Whenever we've all hung out now you both seem fine, I just want to know what changed. What the problem was in the first place." The strength in Rin’s voice puttered out at the end though his expression remained steady as he looked at Sousuke, gauging his reaction. Sousuke’s lips were in a soft frown, his neutral expression.

 

Rin’s finger tapped against his sides impatiently, silent panic running over him the longer the silence drew on. Sousuke was calm, trying to figure out what brought the question on and why. He waved Rin over. He walked over to the couch, arms still folded around him as he sat down on the opposite end. The couch was small and when he pulled up his legs they touched Sousuke’s. Their legs and knees overlapped, and a small grin broke out on Sousuke’s face when Rin unconsciously ran his leg against his. Sousuke watched Rin’s shoulders sag in relief and lean his head against the back of the couch, mimicking Sousuke.

 

"I don't mind telling you, but why didn't you ask sooner?"

 

Rin sighed and Sousuke tossed him one of the throw pillows that he had been hoarding behind him. Rin caught it and pulled it into his chest, instantly feeling better by having it in his arms. They watched each other in silence before Rin’s eyes fell to Sousuke’s shoulder.

 

"I don't know, I just. After everything that happened I didn't want to start something between you two again by bringing it up."

 

"So you already feel like you know what's wrong then?" Sousuke asked, taking notice of the pointed look in Rin’s gaze before it moved away.

 

"No, just guesses."

 

"Well, go ahead let me hear them."

 

"Sousuke,” Rin complained. They entered a brief starring contest before Rin conceded, a deep frown forming on his face. "Fine. I just, sort of thought it might be my fault."

 

"It's not your fault," Sousuke insisted. Rin blew out another puff of hot air, eyebrows pulling down into a scowl.

 

"Then tell me the real reason already, I just said I was only guessing."

 

Sousuke scratched at the back of his head, his neutral frown falling into something softer, but sadder. His eyelids dropped low as he stared at where Rin’s leg touched his, thoughtful gaze running along their forms before reaching higher. He observed the loose grip of Rin’s hands on the pillow. The tilt of Rin’s neck and the way his hair pooled up against the couch from Rin’s head slipping against the cushion. Saw the gentle concern in Rin’s eyes and the perfect arch of Rin’s unhappy lips.

 

"It was jealousy, really," he admitted. Rin sat up a little in half-surprise, the sign of his suspicion clear in the gentle curve of his eyebrows, much less prominent than if he had been truly shocked by the news.

 

"Jealousy?"

 

"When you left I let you go without saying a word because I knew what it meant to you, Rin. Yeah, I was upset you left me, but I was okay with it knowing it was for your future. I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt when you left to go swim with Haru and the others, but I didn't hate them."

 

Sousuke knew this was going to be a long talk, could feel that a half-assed explanation wouldn’t do either of them any good. In a way he was happy he was going to be able to put it behind him. He wanted to dispel all of Rin’s worries, but he knew his words would only create more before he understood.

 

"I'm sorry." Rin frowned, much like Sousuke thought he would. He shook his head, a tired but fond smile on his lips. He reached his hand out to touch Rin’s ankle, rubbing small, assuring circles with his thumb into the skin just above it.

 

"Rin, it's okay. Like I said, I was okay with it. I knew what it meant to you."

 

"So," Rin started, leg easing down to be drawn closer to Sousuke. "What happened that made you and Haru so at each other's throats?"

 

Sousuke hummed, running his hand up and down the smooth skin of Rin’s leg. His leg fell down straight against the couch, relinquishing itself to Sousuke’s touch. He thought carefully about how to explain the complex and simple reason as to why he had had a problem with Haru. It wouldn’t be hard to explain if it wasn’t for the fact that Rin was so protective over his friends.

 

"It wasn't really something specific. I didn't start resenting Haru until I saw how little he cared about how you felt. It bothered me a lot, and I felt it wasn't fair that you were so enraptured by him when he didn't appreciate you. The more I saw that the more I started to resent him, and eventually I just started hating him."

 

"But that," Rin started, but his mouth slammed shut. An unconscious squeeze against his ankle had urged him to stop, and Sousuke’s soft gaze made him.

 

"Rin, I've had feelings for you a lot longer than just high school. It wasn't clear to me at the time, but I knew how important you were to me. It made me angry that Haru could have all of your attention and still be unsatisfied. It felt like he took you from me only to toss you aside. I felt like it was his fault you were having problems."

 

"But that, that wasn't Haru's fault!" Rin stuttered, shocked by the confession.

 

"I know that, but I didn't know that then. I was just aimlessly frustrated and he got the brunt of it. It wasn't fair to him, but it didn't matter to me." Sousuke looked at him with discouraged eyes, eyes that asked him to hear him out first. "I was even more frustrated when my body gave out on me, it didn't feel fair. I couldn't even meet you as a rival, and I felt lost, but I didn't want to give up. I wanted to swim with you again, but you know the rest of that."

 

Sousuke refocused on drawing simple patterns against Rin’s leg. There was silence in the room then, only a few short seconds that felt like hours to Rin. The only sound in the room was the humming of the heater and his mother’s clock ticking on the wall.

 

"So what changed?" Rin questioned, arms tightening around his pillow.

 

"I was still upset when I came back and you were still taken by him. I was jealous so I hated him, but after seeing what Haru and the others did for you I accepted them. The truth of it is, they gave you what you needed to overcome that wall and I couldn't."

 

"Sousuke that's," Rin started, eyes filled with remorse. Sousuke gave a gentle squeeze to his leg again.

 

"That's all there is to it, Rin. It's no one's fault.”

 

"But Haru and the guys," he tried again.

 

"Rin, let me finish,” Sousuke interjected. Rin’s mouth clamped shut, afraid he had angered Sousuke. It showed on his face that he didn’t want to start a fight.

 

"I stopped hating Haru after I realized that, after I realized that it wasn't anyone's fault. In that moment they gave you what you needed, and that was that. I'm glad they did, Rin. I'm glad they helped you out of that place. And I realized that no one can make you leave, Rin. You've only ever done what you wanted to. I knew that but conveniently forgot it because it was easier to think Haru took you away than the fact that you didn't want to stay."

 

"Sousuke that's not true, I didn't want to leave you." Rin had started tearing up while Sousuke spoke, tears welling in his eyes. Sousuke watched with a loving gaze.

 

"I'm glad you did leave in the end," he confessed.

 

"What?" Rin asked, eyes blown wide and voice betraying the shudders of his heart. Fear crept up his neck, his body going cold in seconds. Sousuke frowned, hand never ceasing its reassuring touches against his bare leg.

 

"Rin, I wasn't what you needed. I wasn't what you wanted either. We couldn't understand each other when it came to the most important thing to you, and the more that happened the more it grated at our friendship. We stopped being friends, we were just rivals. You knew that. You felt it too, didn't you?" Rin remained silent, pulling his lip back into his mouth, biting down against it. His chin quivered, but his tears didn’t fall. Sousuke smiled at him gently, his eyebrows arching in a sign of his deep, and sometimes wearying, love for the other.

 

"That time apart helped you grow, and it helped me understand that there was something about you that was more important than what I couldn't understand. It made me want to understand you, Rin. It made me want to come back. It helped drive me to where we are now. My want, my need to be your friend again brought me back to you."

 

"Sousuke I never," Rin sniffled, lifting up a hand to wipe at his eyes. "I never wanted you to feel like I left you behind. And that year I didn't contact you even though I was back, that was," he whimpered.

 

"Rin. It's okay. It's alright."

 

"But," Rin cried.

 

"Rin, I wasn't ready to face you either. I wasn't ready to make you cry. But it's okay now, because it worked itself out, right? So you don't have to cry. I'm not sad, Rin. I'm happy now. Really, genuinely happy." Sousuke sat up and pulled the crying mess of a boy into his chest. Rin’s arms wrapped around his shoulders on instinct and he cried louder into his good shoulder. His tears getting soaked up by Sousuke’s cotton shirt. Sousuke smiled as he tugged the pillow out from between them and pressed the other closer.

 

"But I put you through all that," he sobbed.

 

"Rin, you didn't put me through anything. I put myself through that. I blamed others because that was easier, but really I was just a kid who didn't get it. A kid who didn't want to accept that they weren't what their best friend needed. But now I do, I know that you're here by choice. I want you to continue to stay by my side, but whatever happens in the future will happen, and it'll be okay. It'll be okay because right now, Rin, right now I'm the happiest I've ever been. You've given me so many good memories already, and nothing can take those away. Not Haru, not the past, not the future, and not you, Rin."

 

"Sousuke," he whimpered, squeezing him tighter.

 

"Come on, don't cry." Sousuke kissed his shoulder, holding him close. His thumb absentmindedly starting to rub circles into his back.

 

"You aren't," he gasped, tears overwhelming him. "You aren't afraid?"

 

"Afraid of what? You changing your mind?" Rin shook his head into Sousuke’s shoulder, biting his lip to keep from crying to loudly. "Rin, it doesn't matter. I know you won't cheat on me, so I have nothing to worry about. If you end up falling for someone else, or even Haru, you'd tell me and break up with me properly first, wouldn't you? So I have nothing to worry about."

 

"You're okay with that?" He asked in disbelief. His shaking restrained to slow, tiny jerks by his fear.

 

"I am and I'm not. I don't want you to fall for someone else or leave me, but if you do I won't stop you."

 

"Why wouldn't you stop me!?” Rin pulled away from him staring at him with wet, wild eyes. “Wouldn't you try to make me stay!?"

 

Sousuke’s hands came up to hold Rin’s face, rubbing away his tears. Rin tried to turn away, but Sousuke’s grip remained firm. His smile wobbled under the pressure of Rin’s crying, feeling a deep sadness settling within his own heart. He didn’t want to make Rin so upset, but he wanted him to understand.

 

"Rin, I can't force you to stay. If you want to leave, then you want to leave and that will be it. It doesn't change that I love you, or that I've loved you. No one can make you leave Rin, and I'm not going to force you to stay if you're not happy with me."

 

"Why would you give up so easily?" He snarled. Rin’s quivering chin incapable of keeping an angry scowl on his face, hot frustrated tears falling in place of the sad ones. He was angry, and scared. Afraid of what Sousuke’s words could mean, reading into them in a way Sousuke did not intend. Sousuke frowned realizing the dreaded thoughts likely running through his crying boyfriend’s head.

 

"It's not giving up. I’m just not going to needlessly hurt you. I don't have to hate the people you feel things for, doesn't mean there won’t be times when I’m jealous, but it doesn't feel as strong. I know that as long as you're with me, it's by choice. If you want to leave, that's also by choice. It'll hurt me, but I won't hate you or the person you choose for it."

 

"Why? Why wouldn't you? Sousuke, I don't get it." Rin’s grip on Sousuke’s arms went taut, creating aches under his fingers.

 

"It's because I love you and I respect you, Rin. It's not that hard to understand."

 

"That's so stupid." Rin complained, frustration in his eyebrows and teeth bared.

 

"Rin, fighting to keep someone who doesn't want to stay isn't as romantic as the movies make it seem. It just hurts both parties." Sousuke’s frown was thin and deep set. Rin clamped his eyes shut, trying to avoid the disappointed look in Sousuke’s own. He clenched his teeth.

 

"Whatever, it doesn't even matter. I'm never breaking up with you, and I'll never choose someone else."

 

"You don't know that."

 

"But you do, don't you? You say it sometimes. That it's me or no one, you say that,” Rin accused, anger and frustration pulsating off his body, glare piercing Sousuke’s heart.

 

"It's not some romantic notion Rin, my body and my heart can only love you right now. While you're with me I'll never choose someone else simply because whatever level of attraction I could feel for a stranger or a friend won't be this high. Love is more than just passion, Rin. And I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I know you love me too. I'm just saying that the bond between us will keep me by your side unless you choose otherwise. If you do that, it’s possible I could start new and find someone who someday might be just as wonderful, but it’s not likely I’d ever fall for someone before then."

 

"Why do you talk like that?” Rin yelled, head falling, hands moving to grip at Sousuke’s collar. “You make it sound like it's my fault you're here. You make it sound like I'm the only one who could break this off."

 

"That's not what I mean, Rin,” Sousuke sighed in frustration at his own incapability of explaining it. “It wouldn't be your fault if you fall for someone else. You have fallen in love at first sight before, Rin. I can't, I haven't, and I likely won't. And you're not the only one who could ruin this relationship. I could do or say something that will hurt you too much, and in that case I hope you do break up with me. I don't want to cause you pain."

 

"I don't want to hurt you either idiot!" Rin shouted, pulling at Sousuke’s collar in anger. His breath was labored and his teary eyes red-rimmed. Sousuke’s hands dropped from Rin’s face.

 

"I know."

 

Sousuke’s fingers loosely curled around the bottom of Rin’s shirt. Helpless eyes staring into Rin’s irritated ones. They sat in silence as Rin calmed down, taking notice of Sousuke’s childlike gesture as he came down from his furious state. Rin leaned forward, head resting on Sousuke’s shoulder again. He closed his eyes and breathed in steady, deep breaths.

 

"This is just making me upset," he sighed. "You really suck with words."

 

"But you get them, don't you?" Sousuke asked, his normal tone of voice giving way to a higher pitch. Just the smallest difference in tenor revealing all of his insecurities. Unveiled his worry that he hadn’t been able to get across what he truly meant, that he might have pointlessly hurt Rin instead.

 

"Yeah. But just so you know, I won't be leaving your side either. Even if you think there's a chance I will, I won't. You're right. Love in relationships is more than passion. You're my best friend and the one I love so of course I won't leave. Respect and friendship are important to healthy relationships right? That's what mom always says." Rin closed his exhausted eyes, arms wrapping around Sousuke again. He sighed in relief when warm arms wrapped around him, hugging him in a tight and unrelenting squeeze. Their warmth seeped into his skin, acting like liquid salve that could heal all wounds.

 

"She's a wise woman."

 

"You sound so stupid," Rin snorted, voice cracking from the earlier stress.

 

"So you've said before," he chuckled, a soft sound against Rin’s ear. "I'm sorry I made you so upset."

 

"Shut up, don't be sorry. No one can make me upset unless I allow them to, right?" Rin retorted.

 

"I'm sorry you're letting yourself be upset," Sousuke joked, pressing loving kisses against Rin’s hair.

 

"Jerk." He gave a weak punch to his stomach, arms resting against Sousuke’s waist. Rin breathed in deep, stilling his shaky voice. "I love you. I really, really do, you know? Just because you figured it out first doesn't mean I don't love you just as much."

 

Sousuke leaned down, grinning against Rin’s exposed neck. He started picking up Rin, a gentle tug upward, flattening his body against his. Sousuke scooted forward towards the other, shifting his leg off the couch for proper leverage.

 

"I know that Rin, and I think letting myself accept that has been the smartest thing I've ever done."

 

"'S that why you're not worried?" Rin whispered, his hands reaching back up around Sousuke, allowing the other to pull them back into a laying position. Sousuke’s leg came back up next to his after they settled. He’d have to remove his arms from under them soon, but he wanted to hold onto him for just a bit longer.

 

"That's why I'm not worried,” Sousuke affirmed.

 

"Cocky bastard," Rin muttered, hiding his face against Sousuke’s neck.

 

"I love you, too."


	3. A Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes people have passing feelings of being left out, or remembering something that was once awful, but the intensity of the pain is no longer there. It's proof you're healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick thing I wanted to write to show that, yes Rin does get jealous too, and that Sousuke really has become friends with Rin's friends, even if they aren't besties.

“Somehow that really pisses me off,” Rin admitted in a bitter huff. Haru only nodded, both watching the two boys sitting on the edge of the pool chat away, lost in their conversation. One laughed at what the other said and suddenly the two giants looked over at them. Haru’s shoulders drew up before he slid down in the water, acting indifferent. Rin scowled as he swam off to do some leisure swimming after his race with Haru.

 

He felt the water disturbance as the other pulled up next to him, and for once he didn’t feel like racing. After a few lazy laps they swam over to the end of the pool where they had kept their stuff and picked themselves up and out. Rin glanced back to see the two had entered back into their own world, and he scowled more. Haru also frowned as he grabbed his towel and draped it over his head, trying to dry his hair.

 

“Since when are they such good friends anyways,” he grumbled as he ripped his own towel out of his bag and started drying himself off in harsh movements.

 

“They write each other,” Haru mumbled, distaste showing in his posture. He glanced around his towel to look back at the two happily gossiping away, ignoring them. “Emails.”

 

Rin pouted as he finished drying himself off and checked his phone. They had already been there for four hours. It was hard not to forget the time when he was racing Haru, or swimming with everyone. Rei and Nagisa had to leave early and as soon as they left Makoto and Sousuke had started sticking to each other like glue.

 

“What do they even have to talk about? And are they ever going to notice that we’re ready to go or what?” Rin complained, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared at them expectantly, willing them to notice how he and Haru were already set to go.

 

“He didn’t pull me out of the water,” Haru pointed out with a frown. Rin grimaced as he thought about it. They were seriously lost in whatever they were talking about if Makoto’s Haru senses hadn’t went off.

 

“Come on, let’s go tell those idiots we’re done.”

 

Rin and Haru walked around the expanse of the pool, stopping right behind them. Sousuke stopped mid-sentence and grinned at them. Makoto turned around and gave them a big, bright smile.

 

“We’re done,” Haru told the two.

 

“Oh! Okay, then should we go out to eat now?” Makoto asked as he stood up, offering a hand to Sousuke who took it. Rin watched the way the overhead lights emphasized the surgical scar as he was pulled up. Sousuke had been swimming so well he had almost forgotten. Even seeing it sometimes didn’t seem real to him, as though it never happened.

 

“That sounds good,” Rin answered. “Where should we go?”

 

Sousuke followed Haru back to the other side, Makoto and Rin trailing behind them.

 

“Should we go out for ramen? Or maybe go to a family diner?” Makoto asked with a smile and a tilt of the head. Rin hummed as he thought about it, watching Haru and Sousuke’s backs.

 

“What do you guys want to do?” he called up to them. Simultaneously the two glanced back and shrugged, causing the two behind them to burst out into a fit of giggles. Haru frowned and turned forward again, hurrying to their bags. Sousuke waited for the two to catch up to him and kneed Rin in the side.

 

“I don’t care, you two pick.”

 

“Ah, well between the three of us, let’s avoid any place that serves fish,” Makoto whispered, eyeing Haru warily. “Ever since we’ve gotten back Haru’s been eating nothing but fish since it isn’t as fresh in the city.”

 

Sousuke chuckled and Rin smirked, staring at their quiet friend gathering his things. Haru, oblivious to the conversation, just looked up expectantly when they walked over. Makoto smiled and picked up his own towel, drying off what little he had too. Sousuke was in a similar state since they had been sitting and talking for so long.

 

“I could make us something,” Haru offered after a moment of silence. Makoto and Rin turned to him in shock and he turned away from them.

 

“But Haru wouldn’t it be a bother making food for all of us?” Makoto frowned and Haru clicked his tongue. Sousuke laughed at the sag in Makoto’s shoulders.

 

“I could help him cook,” Sousuke chimed in. “If you don’t mind that is, Haru.”

 

“That’s fine,” Haru nodded and Makoto and Rin were stunned. Haru gave Rin a look of confusion. “You said he was good at cooking,” he reminded him.

 

“He is,” Rin replied, a frown on his face.

 

“It’s fine then,” he explained as they started to exit the pool area. “We’ll need to go shopping first.”

 

“That’s fine, we’ll help pay for it too Haru,” Makoto added with a smile. Sousuke hummed as they all made it to the locker rooms and changed, forgoing showers. Rin would complain about it later, but he had a hair tie so he just pulled up his mess of hair back and tied it up.

 

“It’s been awhile since I’ve eaten anything you’ve made, huh?” Sousuke mused out loud. Haru looked up as he thought about it. They had mostly had take-out the past few times they all had met up, and their last Christmas party was completely catered by the Tachibanas.

 

“Ah that’s right! Haru hasn’t made anything when you’ve come over recently, huh?” Makoto hummed, thinking about it as he zipped up his jacket. Rin stared at the three feeling a lot like he had entered another dimension.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Sousuke visited Haru when we were in middle school,” Makoto informed him with a smile.

 

“You used to visit Haru?” Rin asked turning to the darker haired two.

 

“Once,” they both said in unison before grimacing at the sound of it.

 

“I was just dropping something off and he happened to be making something,” Sousuke explained as he tied his boots. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

 

“Why does that sound so surreal,” Rin laughed and Makoto hid a smile behind his hand as the other two glared at him. “Anyways, so we’re going to eat at Haru’s?”

 

Haru nodded and he finished pulling his soft hat over his head. The wind-chill had been particularly brutal that day, and Makoto wouldn’t have let him out of the house without at least a hat. Makoto had a scarf on and was trying to get Rin to use it to cover his wet hair only to get brushed off. Rin complained, saying he’d be fine and if it was really that bad he’d just use his hood.


	4. Your Life and Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you second guess yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fun one to write. I really want to write more of Gou, but the focus of this wasn't really her. It was more about Rin and how creeping fears create doubts that have you taking back your initial gut feelings. It's hard to break that kind of thing, but it's important to remember your gut instincts are there for a reason.

“I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this,” Gou sighed. She pulled her legs up onto the couch and wrapped her arms around her soft pajama pants.

 

“It is a big deal! Why aren’t you going to college!? I thought you said you were going to go to a local college first!” Rin was nearly screeching as he waved his arms around in a frantic and frustrated manner. Sousuke stood a few feet away, not knowing if he wanted to go to Gou’s aid, or stand by Rin.

 

“I already told you,” she groaned, “that because we don’t have money I’m going to be working for now and save up for it.”

 

“You shouldn’t be working, you should be going to school,” Rin argued, crossing his arms. “It doesn’t matter that we don’t have money, you shouldn’t waste time.”

 

“I’m not going to argue about this anymore,” Gou said as she turned back to the TV and un-paused her movie. Rin instantly went to stand in the way of the TV, fuming that she had ignored him like that.

 

“Gou! You have to go to college! You’re never going to get a good job if you don’t.”

 

Gou paused her movie again and stood up, putting her arms on her hips and getting red in the face.

 

“You’re being more stubborn than I am! You don’t know that! And I’m not saying I’m never going! Right now just isn’t the right time. I know you’re worried but I can take care of myself just fine, you’re being a worrywart! I’ve already talked about it with mom and she’s okay with it so there’s nothing more to discuss!”

 

Rin stepped back in surprise as she started to wave her own hands around in a clear display of her anger. He was hurt that she shut him out so coldly at the end, saying that there was nothing to discuss with him. He was about to start up again when two arms swooped under him and he was carried out of the room, yelling at the abductor the entire way. When he was finally dropped down in his room he was about to shoot for the door again but Sousuke quickly pressed his back against it.

 

“Rin, you need to calm down. Gou’s right, she can take care of herself,” Sousuke reasoned with the boy. Rin was gaping at him in surprise before his face contorted in anger.

 

“Why are you taking her side!? Don’t any of you realize that she’s not going to get anywhere if she doesn’t go to college!?”

 

Sousuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from raising his own voice. Rin was being unreasonable, but it was because he loved his sister. He wanted nothing but the best for his sister and that was somehow equating to going to college right out of high school.

 

“Rin, Gou will be fine. She’s not going to do anything stupid, and she certainly isn’t going to stay working as a part-timer or full-timer at some minimum wage job. She’s going to chase after what she wants to do in her own way and her own time,” Sousuke sighed in exasperation.

 

“But she,” Rin started and Sousuke opened his eyes again and he stopped.

 

“Rin. I promise you Gou will be fine, and even if she did work some shitty job for the rest of her life, does that matter?”

 

“What?” Rin asked, a confused scowl on his face.

 

“If she’s happy does it matter if she’s an Olympic swimmer or a cashier at some store?” Sousuke stood up straighter. “Or where those just pretty words you could give me, but can’t give your precious sister?”

 

“What?” Rin blurted out, completely lost. “Of course not.”

 

Sousuke’s expression softened again, and tension he didn’t realize he had left his shoulders. He took in another deep breath and exhaled, pulling Rin into a tight hug he couldn’t escape. Rin just let it happen, taking in what Sousuke was saying.

 

“If you really believe that, then trust her. Trust Gou to not give up on her own happiness. She’ll be fine. I know she’s your precious little sister, but she’s also your,” Sousuke explained, stressing its importance, “little sister. She’s a Matsuoka and she’s not going to settle for anything less than what she wants. You need to have a little more faith in her.”

 

Rin stayed silent, just standing in Sousuke’s arms, leaning against him. The noise from the TV muffled by the door and the fan of the laptop that was still on from Sousuke’s earlier use were the only noises in Rin’s ears. He couldn’t even hear them breathing. He closed his eyes and let his head fall onto Sousuke’s shoulder and let out a breath he had been holding. Sousuke was right, he wasn’t being fair.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You should say that to Gou,” Sousuke chuckled, kissing the top of his head.

 

“Yeah,” Rin admitted before wrapping his arms loosely around Sousuke’s waist. “Thank you.”

 

Sousuke hummed and walked them over to the bed, dropping them down onto the twin mattress before rolling in and allowing Rin to fix himself into a comfortable position. Sousuke knew he was too embarrassed and ashamed to apologize right away. He’d do it in the morning first thing, or while they were getting breakfast.

 

“What would I do without you?”

 

“The same thing,” Sousuke answered, “but you’d probably have a lot harder time realizing you were wrong.”

 

“Jerk,” Rin mumbled into his pillow as he flipped around. Sousuke curled around him, a smile on his lips.

 

“And you’d be lonelier,” he added.

 

Rin snorted, but laced their fingers together and hid his smile from him. They both knew he was right. Rin settled down and frowned as the silence between them stretched on. His mind was swirling with thoughts of her sister’s uncertain future, and his unreliable one. The future was becoming increasingly scary and he had been starting to second guess himself. He wondered how Sousuke put his trust in him so easily when he himself had only a vague idea of what he wanted to happen.

 

“You’re thinking too much,” Sousuke mumbled against Rin’s hair. Rin didn’t comment, staring out at his desk where a picture of the three of them sat. It was of the first day of sixth grade for Sousuke and Rin. Both of them were standing behind Gou with their arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders and peace signs in their free hands. Gou stood in front of them with a big smile and two small peace signs of her own.

 

“So much has changed already,” he whispered, confiding a secret fear in the silence and in Sousuke. He was squeezed by the arms hugging him and Sousuke’s heat started spreading quicker into his shirt. It was a comforting temperature, a reassuring one.

 

“It’ll keep changing, but that doesn’t mean any of us have to separate because of it. And even if it does, we’ll all still have each other.”

 

“I know that.”

 

“It’s okay to be worried, but it’s a bit pointless to ruin today over it, don’t you think? If anything happens all we have to do is fix it Rin, you don’t need to wait for something bad to happen. No one will ever be prepared for it even if you’re stressing over it now.”

 

“I know,” Rin grumbled.

 

“I know you know,” Sousuke chuckled as he rolled Rin over to face him. Rin pouted at the triumphant face he saw there. He snarled at the other.

 

“If you know that I know then stop with the lectures.”

 

“Can’t do that,” Sousuke hummed, grin never faltering. Rin huffed out in annoyance and was about to complain more when Sousuke kissed him quiet. “You just need a reminder sometimes.”

 

“A reminder,” Rin repeated. Sousuke kissed him again and Rin brought up his hand and blocked his face from reaching his, laughing at the pathetic noise of disappointment Sousuke let out just for him. “You’re an idiot.”

 

“Yeah,” Sousuke agreed, “I am so you have to remind me when I do or think something stupid, too.”

 

“I’ll be reminding you for the rest of my life,” Rin laughed at his own joke and Sousuke grinned wider as he started messing with Rin, turning him into a giggling mess. “Stop that!” He yelled as he swatted away offending, ticklish fingers from his sides.

 

“I will if you say the magic words,” Sousuke deadpanned and Rin stared at him in silence as everything stopped before busting out into another uncontrollable laugh. Tears were welling up in his eyes he was laughing so hard.

 

“You looked so serious!” He cried, laughing harder when offending hands started tickling him again. “Stop! Stop! I give up, come on Sousuke!”

 

“Magic words,” Sousuke hummed, continuing the brutal attack. Rin tried to fight him off, laughing only making him weaker.

 

“Okay! Okay! I love you, alright!?”

 

Rin yelped as Sousuke flopped down on top as soon as the words had left his mouth. Rin started to calm down, breathing heavy and cheeks aching. He kissed the grade-school grin off Sousuke, enjoying the surprised noise he had made. Most times Rin wondered why everyone assumed Sousuke was the more mature of the two when he was practically an eternal ten year old.

 

“I love you too,” Sousuke managed to say in between kisses. Rin just grinned against his lips and decided he indeed had been thinking too much. He had plenty of things to enjoy; there was no point in ruining them over an unforeseen, uncontrollable future. Gou’s life would be vastly different than his. Even Sousuke’s was unlike his own even though they spent so much time together, but that didn’t mean anything fundamental would change. If anything happened, they all still had each other’s backs, and would come rushing to help should one of them fall.

 

Time and change could not stop those truths.


	5. Next Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you know better, do better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love Rin and Gou's mom, I definitely picture to be an amazing role model and a really smart and enlightened person.

“And next year I want to show Sousuke New Year’s in Sydney and also try and get in a late Christmas party with Lori and Russell. It'll be cutting our break shorter though,” Rin finished, sitting at the dining table amongst the piles of papers his mother was working with. The dining room had started to resemble clean the closer they got to the holidays, but it was still the pseudo-office room for his mom.   
  
“Why don’t you spend Christmas with them? We could have an early Christmas if that’s the case. Then you’ll definitely have time to make it back before New Year’s,” Mrs. Matsuoka concluded as she put down some of her papers. She could take a short break to talk to her son about the plan he had just finished relaying to her, it was important to him after all.   
  
Rin grimaced as he thought about it and tossed a glance back at the corridor that led to the bedrooms, thinking about the sleeping Sousuke that was there. He was still working his part-time job so he was pretty tired. Luckily the owner needed extra hands during the holidays and winter months, they did live near the seaside after all and snowfall could get a bit extreme. Still that meant Sousuke taking naps at odd times of the day or sleeping in to make up for his late night shifts.   
  
“I don’t know, maybe. It depends on what Lori and Russell think. I don’t want to oppose on a family Christmas. Besides, it’s nice spending it here with you and Gou,” Rin sighed, tipping his chair back.   
  
“That reminds me, how did Lori and Russell like Sousuke? You never did tell me what happened.” She grinned behind her hand when Rin fell forward and back into the proper sitting position. His face flushed and he rubbed at the back of his neck.   
  
“They liked him. A lot. I didn’t bring him right away actually. I thought it’d stress him out more than anything so we waited a month. He definitely had an easier time talking to them than Haru did anyways,” Rin announced with a selfish grin. His mother just chided him for stressing out his friends, but smiled at his enthusiasm.   
  
“I’m sure it shocked Sousuke to hear how much they had heard about him,” she added with a tiny smile as she looked back down at her papers. Rin leaned onto the table and rubbed the back of his neck again before folding his arms and laying his head down on the table. He made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and she instantly could tell something was wrong. “Rin?”   
  
“He was more than just surprised. He was surprised when I first told him, but I guess he didn’t really trust me. When Lori and Russell where telling him all about it he,” he gulped, swallowing the tears in his voice, “he didn’t seem to believe it. It felt like he just thought I was being nice or something when I said that I still thought of him in middle school and told them about him.”   
  
Mrs. Matsuoka frowned attentively before standing up and walking around the table. She put two firm hands against Rin’s shoulders, squeezing them and looking off into the distance as she thought about it. Rin had confided in her Sousuke’s insecurities before, and how he felt responsible for many of them even though Sousuke himself had explained they were not his fault. She hadn’t realized she was stepping on a landmine when she had made the comment.   
  
“I really messed up mom,” Rin whispered into the table.   
  
“Rin, honey, Sousuke knows how much you love him. You don’t need to worry about this anymore,” she said with a tiny smile, gazing down at her boy lovingly before placing a kiss against the back of his head. “That is the past, and you both know it. You’re already proving to him that he’s important, and he’s already accepted it, there’s nothing more you can do. You can’t change what has already happened, but you can do better in the future. When you know better, do better, and that’s what you’re doing right now. Don’t beat yourself up for what a younger you did unknowingly.”   
  
“I know, but I just, I wish it never got to that. I shouldn’t have put so much focus on Haru when I wasn’t even paying attention to my best friend,” he grumbled before sitting up and wiping away frustrated tears. She kissed his cheek and pulled him into her chest, rubbing his hair down affectionately, just as she had done when he was little. He leaned against her and took in deep, calming breaths.   
  
“When you know better, do better,” she repeated in her soothing voice. He nodded against her and wrapped his arms around her. She heard a tiny creak in their floorboards and turned to the corridor, finding a sleepy Sousuke standing there looking both tired and confused. She brought up a finger to her lips before pointing it down at Rin.   
  
Sousuke turned his attention to Rin and frowned when he saw the boy’s distressed state before walking over and putting a warm hand on Rin’s shoulder. In an instant Rin had released himself from his mother and whipped around to see Sousuke with a guilty look in his glossy eyes and a deep frown on his lips. Sousuke smiled at him and let him jump into the hug, trying to stand up before springing himself on Sousuke. He had to catch Rin’s chair from falling, but fixed it upright and squeezed on to Rin.  
  
“What happened?” He asked the two Matsuoka’s, eyes glancing back at the older one. She just shook her head and went back around the table and sat herself down. She waved them away, a silent message telling him it was alright to go elsewhere, and she did have work to do after all. She trusted Sousuke to take care of the rest.   
  
Sousuke lead them to the living room and sat down on the couch, allowing Rin to sit on his lap. His crying had stopped, but his desperate clinging had not. Sousuke just rubbed soothing circles into his back, waiting for Rin to say something.   
  
“I love you,” Rin started, “really, really love you. More than anyone.  And you are, and have always been, my best friend.”   
  
“I feel like we’ve been having this conversation a lot lately,” Sousuke huffed in amusement before kissing Rin’s hair. “I know. I love you too.”   
  
“I haven’t said it enough,” Rin said as he pulled back looking miserable and ashamed. “I haven’t said it nearly enough.”   
  
Sousuke leaned against the couch and smiled a solemn smile before bringing his hand up to his cheek. He smiled a bit brighter and shook his head in exasperation. He pulled Rin back against him and let out a deep sigh.  
  
“I don’t feel like I’ve said it enough either,” he whispered. “So we’ll both just have to work a little harder, yeah?”   
  
“We’re going to sound like lovesick idiots, you already say it too much,” Rin choked on a laugh. Sousuke started laughing too and squeezed him as tight as he could, causing a shout of complaint. “Stop that you idiot.”   
  
“That’s not very romantic,” Sousuke scolded with an amused grin on his lips. Rin huffed and punched him before settling back against him.   
  
“Love you,” he whispered.   
  
“I love you more,” Sousuke challenged.   
  
“No you don’t you idiot,” Rin sniffled, a smile in his voice. “I love you more.”   
  
“I don’t think so, I’m pretty sure I love you more,” Sousuke teased.   
  
“No, I love you more.”   
  
“Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who loves you more.”   
  
They both stopped and broke down into fits of laughter, Rin grinning like a fool despite the aches of his eyes and pounding of his head from crying earlier. He kissed Sousuke’s cheek before rolling off his lap and next to him, reaching out for the controller on the coffee table before settling back against him and turning on the TV.   
  
He’d do better this time.  


	6. Samezuka Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke and Rin meet up with Ai and Momo for a day out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit harder to right, but I generally like it. This is also the last chapter of this installment! Thank you all for reading it and I hope you found some enjoyment out of it! You can take Ai's words however which way you might, but I'd just like to say that I would never picture Ai being upset over anything for long. He's got a strong heart, at least in my stories he does.

“Momo! Ai!” Rin called out, and the two boys turned around in complete unison before running over to him and tackling him in a hug.

 

“Rin-senpai!” Momo cried out and Ai echoed him before they went to jump onto to Sousuke but stopped when they saw him sitting on the bench. They fidgeted in place before Sousuke sighed and stood up, accepting their advances. Twin cries of “Yamazaki-senpai!” followed bone crushing hugs.

 

“Ai, how many times am I going to have to say it?” Rin groaned and Ai stood up straight, stuttering.

 

“Ah, sorry Rin,” he stuttered, blushing furiously. “It’s just a habit.”

 

“Wait!? That’s no fair!” Momo cried out, feeling left out that he couldn’t call the two in a less formal way. Ai shuffled away from him feeling self-conscious about it.

 

“Maybe once you graduate,” Rin laughed. “You don’t have to call me senpai though.”

 

“Rin-san!” Momo cheered.

 

“Sousuke-kun it seems I have gotten a bit taller this time,” Ai said with pride. True enough Ai was the same height as Momo, standing side beside it was made clear. Despite the older Mikoshiba’s height it seemed that Momo wouldn’t be getting much taller since he hadn’t already sprouted up.

 

“Congratulations Ai.”

 

“Ah! You get to call Yamazaki-senpai by his first name too!? And Yamazaki-senpai called you by your first name! This isn’t fair!” Momo cried dramatically, hanging onto Ai.

 

“Momo,” Rin sighed, “it’s not a competition. Besides, Sousuke doesn’t decide these things. He just gets sucked into whatever I call people.” Sousuke hummed in the back of his throat, it was true. When Rin was always talking to Ai he’d call him Ai so of course it’d eventually stick.

 

“That means that you talk about Ai-chan more than you talk about me!” Momo sobbed.

 

“Ai-chan?” Sousuke and Rin echoed and Ai grimaced. Rin was trying not to laugh and Sousuke didn’t hide his amused smirk. Ai just tried pushing Momo off and sighed when he wouldn’t let go.

 

“There’s nothing to cry about Momo-kun, I just take the time to video call Rin and Sousuke-san.”

 

Momo shout up so fast all three of them flinched and Rin was ready to dart when he realized what Ai did wrong there. He was bound to figure it out eventually, but Rin had been trying to avoid it so that he wouldn’t get blown up by the excited boy. He was very nearly worse than Nagisa.

 

“I want to video call you too! I want to call! Mail is too slow!”

 

Ai and Sousuke looked at each other with a silent resignation that lunch was going to turn out much more stressful than they had originally thought. It had been awhile since they were all together, and would likely be longer before they saw each other again. Momo would be trying to soak up as much attention as possible.

 

“Alright, alright, but there’s rules! You can’t just call us whenever you like,” Rin ordered and Momo settled down from an excited burst to a simmering buzz. “First thing’s first, let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving. Train rides make me sick on an empty stomach.”

 

“Says the one who has to travel the most,” Sousuke muttered with a grin.

 

The four traveled to an uncrowded family diner, happy to be have some privacy and also hoping that the lack of energy would calm Momo down. Surprisingly it was Rin who was fidgeting the most and Sousuke was about to ask him if he was alright when he sprung up in his seat and went to the bathroom. Sousuke watched as he disappeared with a frown.

 

“So that’s why senpai was so fidgety, he was doing the potty dance,” Ai said with great conviction. Momo hummed with an unusual look of thoughtfulness on his face. It seemed that he wasn’t the only one who noticed Rin’s odd behavior.

 

“Ai you better not say that to Rin’s face,” Sousuke laughed before standing up. “I’ll be right back.”

 

“Huh?” Ai asked before Momo started bombarding him with questions about college, and how his nursing classes were going. Sousuke ignored them as he made a beeline for the bathroom and was unsurprised when he saw Rin standing in front of the mirror and not in any of the stalls. He looked stressed, and the tips of his hair was wet in the front, signs that he was trying to quietly quell whatever was building up inside.

 

“Rin?”

 

“I don’t know if I can do it,” Rin muttered before turning to Sousuke with depressed eyes. “I want to, but I don’t know if I can.”

 

Sousuke’s shoulders drew up as he realized what Rin was talking about. Rin had had plenty of chances to tell Ai and Momo about their relationship, but he was still hesitating. He cared about them both. He didn’t want to bother them with useless information that could change their friendship. It wasn’t useless though, it was important, but Rin kept playing it off as such to avoid the truth. Just one sentence could break their friendship. It could even sour Ai and Momo’s perception of their friendship up until this point.

 

“Rin, you really don’t have to.”

 

“But I want to,” Rin affirmed before taking another glance at the mirror. He watched the way Sousuke looked at him and looked down at Sousuke’s hand, pulled up into a fist. “I want to. You’ll be with me no matter what happens anyways.”

 

Sousuke’s hand relaxed and he took in a belly deep breath, a long exhale that left a smile in its place. Sousuke grabbed Rin’s hand with a little tug and pulled him into a bone crushing embrace. Rin watched it all in the mirror with passing interest, impressed that Sousuke had not so much as passed a glance at it, still looking at Rin.

 

“Always.”

 

When Sousuke and Rin walked back Momo was laughing with his loud, unchecked volume. Ai was desperate to get him to quiet down and was taken by surprise when Sousuke and Rin slid back in to the booth. Momo glanced between the three before putting on a less genuine smile. Momo was a great deal more perceptive than he let people think. It was no wonder he and Nagisa had became friends so easily.

 

“Ai, Momo,” Rin started, hand going to reach back for his neck before he stilled it and forced it down.

 

“Is something wrong?” Ai asked, concern saturating his voice. Rin looked up at them and made a grab for Sousuke’s hand under the table. Sousuke just watched him and intertwined their fingers, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

 

“I don’t really know what you’ll think about it, but you both deserve to know. And I won’t hold it against you if you find you can’t be our friends anymore, but,” Rin sighed. He sat up straighter, swallowing down his pathetic rambling and hesitation.

 

“Rin-senpai?”

 

“Sousuke and I, we’re dating. We’ve been a couple for a while now. I wanted to tell you because I have no plans of this ever changing and I thought you deserved to know before we got any older,” Rin answered, voice firm but fingers shaking.

 

Ai went still, and Momo had a tentative frown on his face as he glanced back at Ai.

 

“That’s,” Ai began and Rin’s hand had Sousuke’s in a vice-like grip.

 

“That’s great. Congratulations Rin-senpai, Yamazaki-senpai,” Momo concluded, eyes soft and knowing and staring at them. Ai’s head whipped to look at Momo and closed his gapping mouth, pulling his lip into his mouth before turning to the two and smiling as well.

 

“Yes, congratulations.”

 

Rin let out a breath and Ai jumped a little at the noise. He felt guilt in his stomach as Rin let out a wobbling smile and laugh. He wiped away the tiny bit of water that had welled up in his eyes during the wait.

 

“Thanks. I’m sorry for not telling you guys earlier,” Rin said, voice strained.

 

“He really is, he’s wanted to tell you for a while now,” Sousuke supplied and Momo’s smile grew wider. Ai seemed at a loss for what to say but Momo launched them off into conversations about school and how he was scouted by a college in the city. Rin returned to his normal self easily as Momo’s energy brought them away from deeper subjects. Sousuke did not miss the timid look in Ai’s gaze before he too started to get swallowed by Momo’s liveliness.

 

When they finally went to part ways, many hours after, all of Ai’s doubt seemed to have left him and Sousuke allowed himself relax. He was worried a few times during their day, but everything worked out. He wasn’t sure what Ai was thinking about, but it was clear that he did respect Rin a lot. Momo played a key part in the atmosphere of things, and Sousuke didn’t even find himself a bit bothered by giving him their contact information. If Sousuke had been aware of Momo’s true nature, or maybe it was just his recent growth, he wouldn’t have worried about it in the first place. Though the number of letters they received from him was rather numerous and a good indication of what would happen should they give him any form of direct messaging.

 

“Somehow it feels like I’ve lost something,” Ai huffed, his breath turning into a white puff in the night air. Sousuke would question him if he didn’t think it would have created more problems, besides, the genuine smile on his lips didn’t need to be questioned. Momo and Rin were huddling around one of the window displays, chatting about the little trinkets.

 

It was a long walk to the train station, and Sousuke felt an indescribable tiredness. They all left with promises to meet again a few times before they all had to part ways, and Rin seemed a happy kind of exhausted as they sat in their seats and waited for the train to move. Hooking ankles wasn’t as nearly satisfying as holding hands, but the way Rin fell asleep against his shoulder was good enough. He looked out the window at the passing shades of darkness and hoped Rin would have some happy dreams now that that was off his shoulders.


End file.
